"Point your kids in the right direction; when they are old, they won't be lost." Proverbs 22:6
Last day of summer came and went. We tried to make it special by doing a practice run of getting up early and getting ready, and then we had breakfast and playtime at McDonald's before going to church. Joe and I also take them on a last day of summer dinner and activity as well.
This morning was filled with picture taking, eating a hearty breakfast, wearing nice clothes, sitting in traffic, more picture taking, standing in line to get into the school, fighting through crowds of other first day kids and parents, placing bookbags in cubbies, more picture taking, the "mom, just GO" look I got from both of my kids, and the silent ride back to the house.
How am I supposed to do this every year for the next 16 years? How am I supposed to just let them go and trust that some stranger is going to teach my child so he will be a useful member of society in years to come? How am I supposed to make sure my second child actually listens to the lesson and doesn't touch other kids (his love language is physical touch) without me being there to keep him on track? How am I supposed to make sure they hold the door open for others, thank the custodians for their hard work, say thank you to the cafeteria ladies, and to stand up for what is right? How?!....how?
For some reason this year was a little harder for me than last year with my firstborn. Maybe it's because I have 2 children now in school which leaves me alone with 1 child at home since J was 6 weeks old. Maybe it's because I understand Jed (my second, loving, spirited child) like no other person, and I'm afraid his teachers aren't going to embrace his energy. I didn't cry last year until the end of the first week when my son brought home a poem about growing up. This year, I got choked up. A lot.
After dropping off the kids and saying goodbye to the Hubs, I sat in a very quiet house trying to decide my order of business today. As I pulled out my devotional journal, Proverbs 22:6 kept popping in my head. I told Joe on the way home that I pray that all our hard work of training them to do the right thing (educationally and morally) pays off now that we've set them off into the world. And that's just it. I have to let them go. I can't hold their hand all through school insisting they trust God and to love others as ambassadors for God. I have done all I can. I will continue to support and supplement them at home. But at this point I have to trust that God knows what He is doing and that He will work miracles in the lives of my children. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." I must trust God has a special plan for my kids. Plans that are beneficial to making them into mature, responsible, loving adults.
It may get harder before it gets easier as I continue to train my daughter in preparation for school in a few years. Or, it may never get easier. All I know is that God has his hand on my children. I have placed them on the right track. I have trained them in the way they should go. It is now up to them to follow the path God has set before them. and it is time for me to trust them in His hands.